शुक्रवार, 26 नवंबर 2010

EXUBERANCE and other poems by Dr. Mahendra Bhatnagar

EXUBERANCE and other poems

[75 Poems]

by Dr. Mahendra Bhatnagar

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Contents

1 Exuberance

2 Duty

3 Recognition

4 Climax

5 Building

6 To Live

7 Birthday

8 Meeting

9 Touch

10 Failed

11 Waiting

12 It Has Never Happened Before

13 Unfettered Voice

14 The Valiant Workers

15 Not Anymore

16 Unwanted

17 Experience-Proved

18 Desired

19 Relevance

20 Life

21 Response

22 Courage

23 To the Kargil Front

24 Futile

25 Radiance

26 Yearnings

27 Winter-Wet

28 Winter

29 Conclusion

30 Symbol

31 You ...

32 Awareness of Joy

33 Festival

34 Contradictory

35 Lonely

36 Solitary

37 The Final Curtain

38 Wonder

39 Hurt

40 Broken Hearted

41 Renunciation-Consciousness

42 Relationship

43 Companions

44 Agony

45 The Final Request

46 Advice

47 Arrogance

48 Frustrated

49 Unaffected

50 Self-Observation

51 Before End - 1

52 Before End - 2

53 Enlightenment

54 Someone Unknown

55 To the Hawker

56 Suicide

57 People

58 Keep Awake

59 Corruption

60 The End

61 A Victory Story

62 Torment

63 Protection

64 A Show

65 Acceptance

66 Helpless

67 One Night

68 Suddenly

69 Before The Rains

70 Truth

71 A Special Thought

72 Meaningfulness

73 A Wish

74 Possible - 1

75 Possible - 2

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Exuberance and other poem

Dr. R. S. Sharma

Professor of English, BHU, Varanasi.

The seventy-five poems of Mahendra Bhatnagar represent a wide range in terms of theme, mood and tone. They give us a glimpse of Mahendra Bhatnagar’s high stature as a poet, who can induce in the reader serious thinking as well as aesthetic delight.

The collection opens with ‘Exuberance’ (Umang) presenting a highly charged sensuous description of the transitional hour of the day. In the midst of mixed light and shade and insistent draughts of wind, we glimpse the body of the beloved :

Impassioned

And knowingly getting trembling-wet

Is the beloved’s body!

Dr. Mahendra Bhatnagar is most successful in vivifying directly experienced scene of Nature and prismatic states of weather; he often makes the objects of Nature to carry symbolic meaning and convey dedicate and transitory states of the mind. ‘Birthday’ finds a fitting conclusion in the lamp, which has kept burning in the midst of storms. Loss of hope is analogous to ‘ the twittering branch of the evening that suddenly went deaf and mute.’ ‘Waiting’ is a series of Nature processes that suggest agony of waiting. ‘Yearning’ makes us feel what it is to dwell in the lap of Nature - silk-smooth grass, greenish thorns, butterflies wearing pied printed saris, the tamarind and guava trees.

The poet in the form of a blessing receives love and it lifts him to a new level of being with a sense of miraculous release. The emotion approaches the poet’s heart by means of quiet gestures: ‘since / we knew each other - / Involuntarily / Sweet songs began to flow / from my mute lips. (‘Meeting’). As soon as the beloved touches the forehead of the lover, all his problems dissolve and a stronger feeling of joy fills his heart: ‘In my heart / Suddenly burst forth / Thousands of / Morning fresh flowers’ (Touch’) In the course of his life, Mahendra Bhatnagar has witnessed the national shame of subjugation and an intense desire to attain freedom. He has felt the joy of being independent, he has also shared the triumphs and sorrows of free India. All these experiences are preserved by him in memorable verse steeped throughout this collection - and indeed, on a larger scale, in the vast corpus of his writing.

Born in the land of Laxmibai, when he rouses the warriors to advance and crush the enemy, he reminds us of Subhadrakumari Chauhan and when he takes up a national theme, he has something of Maithilisharan Gupta. In addition, when he writes of the have-nots, he exploited and the labouring workers, he shows genuine empathy, and the verse assumes revolutionary overtones.

Dr. Mahendra Bhatnagar knows what it is to feel failure and disappointment, but his abiding strength is in courage and will to survive and overcome. The poet is aware of his broken dreams when the sweetness of a loving heart changed into poison. (‘Unwanted’) He tells us how difficult it is to create a fresh world of equality (‘Futile’). He is aware of the pain of separation from dear ones who left this world, and doesn’t know whom to call (‘Solitary’). He carries a wounded psyche with a bitter taste in the mouth (‘Hurt’) With the personal sense of failure he joins the general sense of suffering and disillusionment of our age: ‘We / Bearing the pain of the wounded age / Will carry the garbage of history’ (‘Torment’) When dealing with this mood, Dr. Mahendra Bhatnagar is a modernist like W.B. Yeats and T.S.Eliot.

On the other hand, the note of buoyancy and hoe is even stronger. It is in the nature of man to love all created things and beautiful objects; it is also natural to him to imagine beautiful worlds (‘Duty’) The poet is fully conscious of the dignity and power of labour (‘The Valiant Workers’) For him, experience has proved that the dark hours are bound to pass and day will surely dawn (‘Experience - Proved’) It is true that man is powerless before destiny and nothing can stop the progress of human knowledge and science. His deepest insight is that which all great thinkers and poets have realized: in this life / There is nothing, / Nothing indeed / More beautiful than love / anywhere!’ However, he also knows that there is nothing more difficult than love - it is an ideal not easily to be achieved. Yet try we must because as W.H. Auden describes in a poem, ‘We must love one another, or die.’

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(1) EXUBERANCE

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The evening,

Caught between light and shade

The rain falls,

The sky drizzles!

Repeatedly,

See how

The eager wind

Knocks the door-

Expected, unexpected!

Far and near,

In fields, in market places and on the crossroads,

Impassioned,

And knowingly getting trembling-wet

Is the beloved's body!

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(2) DUTY

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To love

This life, this world

Is what a man must do!

To love

People,

Mute animals, birds, sea-creatures,

The forest creepers,

The trees,

Is what a man must do!

To love

The buds and the blooms,

The myriad hued

Butterflies

Is what a man must do!

To love

The miracle-studded,

And wonderously

Incoherent

Dreams;

To love

The dainty fairies

Floating through the sweetest

Fancies

Is what a man must do!

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(3) RECOGNITION

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How ugly

Is the realty

Of these sky-kissing

Rainbow-rimmed

Buildings

Is known to us!

How petty, fragmented and dwarfish

Is the face of these heights

Is known to us!

How beautiful

Is the unreal and false attraction

Of these fairy-world-like young women

Is known to us!

How pleasing, soft and enthralling

Is the lotus leaved

Fair-skinned touch

Is known to us!

Familiar are we

With the prick of

These fragrant nectared

Moist flowers;

With the primeval burning of the body

Scented with the wine of lust,

How inviting

Is their bed

Is known to us!

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(4) CLIMAX

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Only a moment

Marks the difference -

Between happening

And non-happening!

A fine border line stretches

Between being and non-being.

Only a thin line

Lies Between laughter

And tears!

A little change,

And the expression

Of our innermost feelings

Changes.

It is not possible

To draw the boundary

Between living and dying!

Conditions -

Are almost the same,

A desire kept alive

For ages

May take shape one moment,

And may disappear the next.

A blink in time

Is enough

To change gain into loss.

Only a moment lies

Between being

And non-being.

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(5) BUILDING

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The walls rise

Like the sides of a well.

Rooms are small

Like narrow streets;

In it -

There is neither a garden

Nor a courtyard

Is this

A picture of modern architecture ?

Or,

An image

Of the cramped heart,

A mirror

Of self

Trapped in itself !

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(6) TO LIVE

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Terror fills the skies,

Hot are the winds

With sulphur, with venom;

But up to the destination

Braving storms

Ceaselessly,

We have to move!

Like a flood of fire

The flames shoot up

Again and again;

But up to the destination

Over crackling embers,

On lonely paths,

We have to walk,

Bearing the heat,

Getting singed and

Being burnt!

Mines of gunpowder

Are laid all over,

In the rivers, the mountains and the forests

But up to the destination

Solitary,

We have to walk,

Our iron feet pounding

The pits, the trenches

Again and again.

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(7) BIRTHDAY

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And now turns

One more page

Of this book of life.

One year

More

Of

Living.

Lucky I was,

Death

Spared me.

Even

In the storm,

The lamp

Kept burning.

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(8) MEETING

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Since

We knew each other -

Involuntarily,

Sweet songs began to flow

From my mute lips.

The first time

I saw you,

My eyes were lost in you,

Hope soared

The heart spread wings

And wished

To touch the sky.

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(9) TOUCH

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O

Innocent!

Your soft cool

Fingers

Touched

My forehead -

That moment,

I thought no more

Of my problems.

In my heart

Suddenly burst forth

Thousands of

Morning fresh flowers ~

And faded

The countless thorns

And desert bushes

Of my path.

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(10) FAILED

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The wave like

Bouncing hopes in my heart

Died down.

Suddenly,

The twittering branch

Of the evening

Went deaf and mute.

The waiting,

Sleepless

Eyes

Wept helplessly

In silence.

The mourning night

Washed the whole creation

With droplets of dew.

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(11) WAITING

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The night

Is cold and endless -

How long

Can we keep awake?

The night

Is wet,

Dew-drenched,

The curse

Of winter

How much more -

Can we bear quietly ?

The shivering body,

In the fog

Leaves droop,

How long

Can we tell

The story of our agony ?

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(12) IT HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE

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It

Has never happened before -

That words

Have been so crippled,

Words with feet,

Words that walk and run,

Not one,

But so many of them!

It

Has never happened before -

That words

Of myriad expressions,

Of various intents

Have become hollow,

Ineffective,

Mere signs!

Words

Do not walk on crutches,

Their feet

Are winged,

They rise in the boundless sky

For hundred of yards,

They cross

The deepest ravines,

Time and again,

They bring back

Bundles of precious rubies!

Such words,

Such swift words,

Such darkness destroying words,

Such fire-like scorching words,

It

Has never happened before

That they have become lame,

That they have fainted,

That they have cooled down!

Words,

Pregnant with

The condensed pain

Of an entire life

Have become

So bare,

Have been lost so completely

In the air.

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(13) UNFETTERED VOICE

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Who is it

That stops you

From telling the truth?

Who is it

That prevents you

From laying bare

The reality of life?

Who keeps in check

Your consciousness?

Who has chained

Your inspirations?

Who

Strangles

Your voice?

Lined with despair

Is your face,

Tearful are your eyes,

Screaming

Impotence.

How long

Will this throat remain dry ?

The voice —

The hoarse voice

Speaks,

How clearly

It expresses everything.

No,

Let this bondage

End,

Let it loosen

With each heartbeat.

Let the voice be free,

Unbound!

Speak —

This stiffness will end!

And each word

Will become radiant!

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(14) THE VALIANT WORKERS

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We are the ones

To bring new dawn to every home,

To paint the world in rainbow colours,

To give fragrance to the buds,

To fill voices with new songs.

We are the ones

To give music to fee

To pour nectar into life,

To put dreams into eyes,

To fill the dawn with spring-bloom.

It is we who make life worth living,

It is we who believe - work is valor.

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(15) NOT ANY MORE

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Not a step more

On the path

Of age-worn principles,

Today lies uncovered

Each deception

Of this exploiting system.

No longer possible it is

To be caught in the beliefs of the past,

And to stunt

The ever expanding consciousness.

Uncovered is the banality

Of all old rituals,

No longer possible it is

To destroy

The new creation

Of the ever-changing social life.

A new peak of human respect

Rises,

The earth and the sky are bathed

In a new light,

The crushed life

Glows,

The hard rock is moulded

Into beautiful sculpture.

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(16) UNWANTED

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I never wanted it -

That the nimble feet

Of coloured dreams

Should not reach the horizon!

I never wanted it -

That the rain should not fill with song

The heavens of this life!

That the lightening should not flash

In the lap of the nectar-raining

Dark clouds!

I never wanted it -

That the tiredness

Of failed fancies

Should break wings,

That youth

Should not kiss

The riding tides!

But,

Things kept happening, unwanted,

Dreams became cripple,

Lost was the pleasant dewiness

Of saavan6

When the sweetness

Of a loving heart

Turned to poison!

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(17) EXPERIENCE-PROVED

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Undoubtedly,

This night will be pitch-dark,

This night will be ghastly,

And each hurting knock

Will fail,

And defeated will this night pass!

Undoubtedly,

We shall be free

From the agonising dark circle,

We shall stand before

A golden morning,

A morning

Tinted with vermilion!

Undoubtedly,

Light

Will conquer darkness,

Yes, undoubtedly!

Birds shall twitter,

And men

Shall sing the morning choir!

From the sky,

Shall descend

The sunbeams with dancing steps,

Smiling brightly!

It is certain

That the torturous, difficult, distressing and dark

Night shall pass!

Teeming

This sky shall rain fury,

And the wounded life of man

Shall heal !

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(18) DESIRED

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I have roved so much

In the murkiness of clouds,

I have wandered endlessly

In the darkness of my mind!

Carrying

My sable-ashen body

I have rambled unceasingly,

Day in and day out,

I have wandered!

Now is the time

To bathe to the full

In the stream of light,

To get into the radiant waterfall of truth

And bathe for the rest of my life!

I will sink in light,

And I will swim in light,

I will let my body float,

And I will let my mind float,

I will bathe to the full!

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(19) RELEVANCE

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Come,

Let's step out

Of the circle of these walls,

Of these ramparts!

Let's rise above

Our pleasure seeking

And change the world's lament

Into music!

Let's gift smiles

To pale, weeping faces,

Let's clear the mist

Hanging over life's path!

Let's paint

This pitch dark world

With a resplendent brilliance,

With merciless attacks

Of miseries and wants.

Let's cover

The defects and the helplessness

With victory-garlands

Laden with yellow and red roses!

Let's visit each home

And give the frightened children

Lovely laughter,

Let's raise a colourful garden

On this gravelled and thorny barrenness!

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(20) LIFE

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Each arrived moment

Is welcome!

Holding my hand

Rises the day,

Riding on my shoulders

Grows the day,

Out of my mind

A new piece of writing

Is shaped by the day,

Out of my body

A new creation

Is sculpted by the day,

Fighting on my strength

Has the day been victorious,

On my living from moment to moment

Lives the day,

My pace gives meaning

To the immortal time,

I am

The unconquered, ceaseless fighting,

Before me bows

Each mountain-obstacle

Each approaching moment

Is welcome!

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(21) RESPONCE

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From the nuclear explosion

Rose

The voice of Lord Buddha —

Let assured

Be peace,

Let everywhere

Be the glow of goodness!

Let secure

Be the civilization, culture and humanity,

Let evil disappear from the world!

Let the world be free

From violence and cruelty,

And be full of love and kindness!

Let not

Animal power

Celebrate now the festival of death anywhere!

Only then will meaningful

Be this great invention

Of knowledge and of science,

This matchless and wonderful

Gift of man!

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(22) COURAGE

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It's true, man is powerless

Before chance,

However capable a person might be

It's only destiny that wins,

It takes only a moment

For man's creation to crumble down

So potent is Nature.

And yet, each challenge is welcome,

Come what may,

Incessant will the progress be

Of human knowledge and science.

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(23) GOING TO THE KARGIL FRONT

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O the brave saviours of our borders!

Pounce on the enemy posts and devastate them.

Let the barbaric killers of our motherland

Be strewn everywhere,

Let the boom of your guns

Strike terror in their hearts.

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(24) FUTILE

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Proved it is

That those who have

Privilege and wealth

Are powerful.

Selfishly

And in gratification of lust

The strong constantly

Plundered the weak,

Were masters of time

The way they liked.

Their islands of opulence

Are everywhere,

And from end to end stretches

Their mighty empire,

They are hailed everywhere!

How difficult it seems

To create a fresh world

Of equality,

Free from exploitation,

Why does the superman

Not incarnate

Into a figure of justice

And fame !

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(25) RADIANCE

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Life-long

It burns

Consuming itself !

It destroys

Darkness

Spread over faraway paths!

It fills

Each house with glow

Born out of an inner flame!

Its representatives we are,

The best and the fittest,

We the destroyers of darkness

We the guides to light

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(26) YEARNINGS

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The whole day long -

The solitary

Rover played

With the silk-smooth

Grass lying on the ground,

With the bright

Gold like sun

Stepping into the courtyard,

Self-willed and free - this alone

Played abundantly,

The whole day long!

The whole day long -

In the shade

Of fresh heavy laden flowers,

In the embrace

Of greenish thorns,

Caught

In the inebriating fragrance

Was lost!

Swung

In the branches

Of shy innocent buds,

Of long, thin pods!

Swung arm in arm

With each branch, each leaf,

Swung the whole day long!

The whole day long -

Loved

The butterflies

Wearing pied printed sarees

And the spring-yellow

Love-mature and talkative mustard flowers,

Loved abundantly,

Danced together from field to field,

The whole day long!

The whole day long -

On the tamarind

And on the guava tree

Secretly moved

From branch to branch,

In the ears of the berry-bush

Whispered

Who knows what!

Played,

Played the whole day long!

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(27) WINTER-WET

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Slowly descended

The dew-drops

All through the night!

An ice-cold silence

Shields the sleeping earth,

On leaves and flowers danced

The love-puppet night,

The artist mist

Constructed a canopied dwelling!

Here, there and everywhere,

Like scattered diamonds are drops of

water,

Stealthily prowl about

The gusts of wind,

Like a guard

Woke the waterfall ringing!

Lively is the gathering

Presided over by the night,

Her lover tightly held in her arms,

Wakes and sleeps the beloved,

Hidden somewhere

Is the frightened dawn !

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(28) WINTER

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Wet and heavy is the night,

And far away is sleep!

A deep murkiness is all around,

And a long way off is the crimson morning,

All sounds are still,

At such a time, why are you silent,

Do share a secret with me!

The fog rains quietly,

Cooled has been the sky's heat,

Silently meet the earth and sky,

At such a moment be with me,

Or else, the cold body will shiver!

Only the silence reigns

Trees sway beyond the fields,

Unexpectedly do the doors rattle,

Do not open the window and peep out,

There is intoxicating wind lies in wait!

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(29) CONCLUSION

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In this life

There is nothing,

Nothing indeed

More beautiful than love,

Anywhere!

If birth is a blessing

It is because of this,

Indeed, because of this!

If the fragrant life is more bewitching

Than even fascination,

It is because of this!

In this life

There is nothing,

Nothing indeed

More comforting than love,

Anywhere!

Because there is love,

So this life has the scent of a flower,

Or else, it is a thorn in the heart,

Burning its way each moment!

In this life

There is nothing,

Nothing indeed

More difficult than love

Anywhere!

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(30) SYMBOL

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Who knows when

You kept a bunch

Of entwined flowers

In my room

And left!

It is as if

You placed a mirror

Reflecting rays

Of myriad unfelt and new

Feelings

In my room

And were deceived

By yourself !

O!

The meaning of life

Suddenly changed

As if

Someone stumbling

Regained balance

With new feelings of love

And rising like huge new waves.

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(31) YOU …

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You are the sparrow

Of my courtyard

You will fly away!

Now my house rings

With sweet harmony,

The nectar of love rains

From all sides,

I fear

Who knows when

You will leave and be lost!

As long as

We are together,

Let's hold hands,

For a few days at least,

Let's live together

As partners

In pleasure and pain,

Let's love each other,

You are the pathway of my life,

Who knows where and when

You will branch off.

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(32) AWARENESS OF JOY

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After a long wait have bloomed

Flowers in the pot,

Yellow joyous flowers,

The thickly-petalled

Fresh marigold flowers!

After a long wait have bloomed

Flowers in my life,

Soft, delighted flowers

Of exhilarating feelings,

The luscious flowers!

After ages

Have I received

The gift of saawan and bhaadon7.

After ages

Have the doors been decorated

With buntings of mango leaves!

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(33) FESTIVAL

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Bloom!

Bloom, O colourful flowers!

Bloom in each pot,

Bloom in each bed,

Bloom in joy!

Bloom!

Bloom, O colourful flowers!

Swing on each branch,

Swing playfully

In the soft breeze!

Bloom!

Bloom, O colourful flowers!

Graze the young buds,

Touch each leaf,

Touch the green veil of the earth!

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(34) CONTRADITORY

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In desolate forests,

A warm welcome

To the blooming flowers

Raining on beds of thorns,

Flowers-mute in agony!

A joyous, hearty welcome

To the multicoloured

Nectar raining

Blushing flowers!

An ardent welcome

To the succor giving flowers,

Lying on gravelly

And difficult

Thorn-filled path!

But, there is only

The feel of pricking thorns

On each step,

Everywhere rings their cacophony,

Hurting the body

And the mind!

O creator!

Do not create

A one-sided life!

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(35) LONELY

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In this city

Of glorious buildings,

Of reflections of beauty

Floating in luminescence,

Who is known to you,

Who indeed is familiar?

Someone with whom

You can talk easily,

Anytime,

Some with whom you can share

The secrets of the heart!

Someone who is

Close to your heart,

And reliable!

Someone to whom

You can write a letter,

And talk on phone,

Unhesitatingly!

Someone whose door

You can knock boldly,

Or call out his name!

Who is such

A friend of yours ?

All are unfamiliar,

All are strangers

In this large, sprawling city!

Not anywhere in sight

Is someone

Who can be called your own!

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(36) SOLITARY

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Now, O!

No one remembers me.

No one ever visits me!

Life lies mute

In the arms of death -

Now, O!

The heart does not make songs,

Nor does it sing any!

Silent are the instruments,

No tune

Is played on them

Nor any rises!

Those who were there -

Have been lost on the way,

Those who are there -

Tired-defeated / bored

Have gone to sleep!

Whom would one call,

Whom would one wake up?

The world has grown strange

And we have become aliens!

Whom would one visit

Who would be drawn close to the heart ?

Each is lost

In himself,

In his joys,

In his sorrows!

No one is with me,

All Colours have fled from life!

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(37) THE FINAL CURTAIN

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It's evening now!

No one will come

Forget

All names!

It's evening now!

Do not light the lamps

Soothing is the darkness,

Let me dream

Of one

Who has always

Deceived me!

The one who has grown

In the helpless silence of my mind!

Nothing remains

To be done!

It's evening now!

Let me go to bed

This early in the evening,

Unendingly!

Dimensions ....

Dimensions!

Do not light the lamps

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(38) WONDER

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Who stole the laughter of flowers ?

Who gave us a harvest of thorns ?

Who Oh! torments again and again

Cruelly reminding me of long forgotten lapses ?

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(39) HURT

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The mouth has a bitter taste,

How can I drink ?

Living on is a compulsion,

Heavy is the heart,

How can I welcome someone

With a false smile ?

Desolate and sear is the garden,

Withered and mute is life

Where are the flowers now?

Only the yellow leaves fall!

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(40) BROKEN HEARTED

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When faith

Is lost -

There is an earthquake

Inside,

Within,

A massive blood-tide rises!

But uncomplainingly

A man

Bears the hurt

Of harsh fate,

Lying silent and half dead

On a bed of embers,

He is burnt each moment!

He lives and dies

Against the backdrop

Of shrieks and moans,

And drinks poison

Laughing insanely!

Faith

Is lost when

A companionship

Ends!

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(41) RENUNCIATION-CONSCIOUSNESS

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When a simple and believing man

Bears

The cunning and infidelity

Of those near his heart,

Then ...

He weeps in pain

Alone,

And laments over

His misfortune again and again!

But

He does not become a murderer,

Nor does he commit suicide,

Alone

He burns silently

In the hell-fires of his mind,

And consoles himself meaninglessly,

Again and again wandering in delusion

And thus deceives himself

Repeatedly!

Do not think him a coward,

It's known to him

That nothing will be gained

By cursing anyone!

Why should one run away

From the act of living this life!

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(42) Relationship

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When the fortress of trust

Crumbles -

The crippled man

Bears silently

The deepest agony ...

He gets ready

To live

A meaningless life,

And to taste bitterness

Everyday!

His remaining days are singed!

When the fortress of trust

Crumbles!

Or else,

Annihilating himself

He floats noiselessly in emptiness!

Destroying his identity

He quietly says -

O, do not break

Anyone's trust -

Trust is the bond,

Trust is life!

----------------------------------------

(43) Companions

----------------------------------------

O waves of pain!

How much and

How long

Will you tickle me ?

How much and

How long

Will you make me laugh

Uncontrollably ?

Holding me in your arms

How long

And how far

Will you make me

Your loving companion ?

O waves of pain

Cruel

Waves wounding the consciousness!

----------------------------------------

(44) Agony

----------------------------------------

Had my life

Been a waste,

I'd have endured it,

In a sorrowful voice

I'd have sung poems

Now and then!

But

To bear this painful experience

Of septic wounds,

To be scorched from moment to moment

In this flaming furnace of life

From birth to death

Is killing,

Is cruelly destroying!

The entire ocean

Has gone muddy,

Who knows

The sins of how many births

Visit me!

----------------------------------------

(45) The Final Request

----------------------------------------

Poor,

Extremely poor I am,

While leaving

Give me also

Something to live on!

Something which is

Truly mine

Something which is

A pleasant sweet, dream!

Thirsty,

Very thirsty I am,

While leaving

Give me also

Something to drink!

Let that be the clean Ganga2-water,

Let that be overflowing honey!

I know

I have to burn

Till the last moment,

A deep darkness hangs

Over the road on which I travel!

A curse has been

This lonely life,

Strictly prohibited are laughter and tears!

----------------------------------------

(46) Advice

----------------------------------------

O body, you are so tired,

O mind, so weak and defeated are you

Go to sleep!

This living

Has been hard,

This living in the howling

Of violent storms!

O my sad and hurt soul,

O my deeply wounded body,

Lose your memory,

And feel a bit better!

You are very tired

Go to sleep!

----------------------------------------

(47) Arrogance

----------------------------------------

To me

You gave a roof

And security

And respect

And a beautiful name

Of a relationship -

Should merely for this

This statement be justified -

'Hate

The sinful act

And not the sinner ?'

What is sin?

What is virtue?

What is truth?

----------------------------------------

(48) Frustrated

----------------------------------------

When -

That which was wanted \ desired \ longed for

Was not gained,

What was the sense in living ?

When

In a green garden

Spread over miles

The desired, loved,

Fragrant,

Thrilled rose failed to bloom :

When life's struggle went waste,

When the heart

Was tortured by misery

Each moment,

What was the sense in living?

Agreed that

Many precious gifts came my way,

And diamond necklaces too,

On countless successes

Innumerable throats sang

My praise to the skies,

I received the high-test awards,

And blessings at each step!

But

I did not get what I desired -

It seems that this precious life

Was a waste,

As if almost complete

Difficult austerities

Failed at the end!

The flames of want rose,

Each dream was reduced to ash!

As is no one's blessings touched

The poor, frustrated, indigent beggar!

----------------------------------------

(49) Unaffected

----------------------------------------

For years

I have lived this life

Alone

And will go on living quietly

The rest of it!

I drank poison-water

Day and night

Helplessly,

In the eager expectation of death!

In watching the annihilating future!

Everything poisoned

I'll drink gladly

Unbidden,

Living my remaining days!

Do not worry -

I am the resident of a house of poison,

I am the great

Pilgrimage of Shiva8

Of my time!

----------------------------------------

(50) Self-Observation

----------------------------------------

Throughout my life

I did not do

A good deed!

Like this

All live their lives,

I did not have an extraordinary life!

I was lost

In myself,

O Creator!

Be merciful and forgive me!

----------------------------------------

(51) Before End - 1

----------------------------------------

Memories are flowers!

Multicoloured,

Laughing flowers!

When memories

Wake -

It seems each door is decorated

With buntings of mango leaves

All around!

Life becomes fragrant

With scents.

Life overflows

With sweet, intoxicating nectar

Life glows

With bright fresh colours!

At such moments

Man immerses himself

In the sweet world of dreams

Forgetting the present!

Everywhere, everything

Looks favourable,

As if branches are laden

With flowers!

As if flowers of pleasant feelings

Swing everywhere!

----------------------------------------

(52) Before End - 2

----------------------------------------

Memories are thorns!

Piercing, pointed thorns!

When memories

Awaken -

It seems as if

All around a dust storm rages,

Life burns

In painful hell-fires,

Life stumbles, cries

In wilderness,

With a stricken heart!

Man

At such moments

Crumbles and falls

In the dark, deep cave

And is uprooted completely!

Everywhere, everything

Appears hindering,

The sharp piercing thorns

Enter the heart!

The thorns of painful

Unwanted experience.

----------------------------------------

(53) Enlightenment

----------------------------------------

Strange it is,

Days ... weeks ... months ... years

Pass in strife

A wonder it is!

There is nothing one can control!

O, nothing indeed,

Does life

Mean

'Helplessness'?

One day

Just like that

Suddenly everything

Will vanish!

Do we see a dividing line

Anywhere ?

Then what can be said about

Meaningfulness / futility ?

Existence -

It's something that will disappear,

Birth and consciousness

Are something to be dissolved,

Then

Why this strife ?

Let

Night and day

Day and night

Pass each moment,

Unbroken is the passage of time,

Through obstacles and felicity!

----------------------------------------

(54) Someone Unknown

----------------------------------------

A man / bent / dejected

Moaning in pain

Carrying a ruined life

Passed away.

A man / bent / desperate

Hurt and bleeding profusely

Screaming / asking for succour / just a moment ago

Passed away.

----------------------------------------

(55) To The Hawker

----------------------------------------

What is this?

Everyday

You throw a blood-drenched

Newspaper

Into my house ?

Full of all kinds of accidents

Is each column,

Marks of indiscriminately fired bullets

Showing clearly on each page!

One is afraid

Of touching it ... of reading it,

Flaming

Poison throwing

The newspaper comes to bite me!

Although

Every night I go to bed

After having heard the news

That nothing unpleasant happened anywhere,

There is tension

But everything is in control!

----------------------------------------

(56) Suicide

----------------------------------------

We ourselves

Are destroying us!

Strange

That we do not feel the pain!

Because

Our hearts and mind

Are drugged

By the primitive and savage insanity

Of religion.

We ourselves

Are throwing hand-grenades on ourselves!

In madness

Are laying mines of fire

In our own house

And are attacking our own people!

We ourselves

Have abandoned the shape of a man

And have put on animal hides,

We growl

And snatch away the lives

Of our own descendants!

----------------------------------------

(57) People

----------------------------------------

People only walk behind

The crowd!

Their destination

They don't know,

They are vacuous,

Completely thoughtless!

Or wander

Near their nests!

There

Is a noise,

Has a man-eater

Come?

In the susurration

Of pine forests!

----------------------------------------

(58) Keep Awake

----------------------------------------

Keep awake, in this world till dawn!

There is terror all around,

The wounded humanity weeps

Bear the strokes, till people are united!

Let each man be free from bondage

Fight against the current

Till the people's strife to victory rages!

Fight death,

Do not give up

Move towards the goal, do not stop

Till the savages are broken and defeated!

----------------------------------------

(59) Corruption

----------------------------------------

How well it spreads

All around

Like weed!

Every moment

It has been pushing the country

Into the abyss.

Has played a cruel barbarous game

With the precious lives of millions!

Mean and unwanted

Is this behavior,

Polluted is

The character!

----------------------------------------

(60) The End

----------------------------------------

A crowd of swindlers

Sing full-throated

Each other's praise!

Flourish

In air-conditioned houses,

Sing songs of victory

And enjoy a comfortable ride

On the merry-go-round!

Let you be successful,

Let all problems be solved soon!

Wealth is all, it is supremacy,

The scoundrels know its glory

They know

Its unlimited and invincible power!

But, all were caught

In the bind of the law

Great sawamis, all politicians

Cunning ministers, hypocritical religious saints!

Wonder of wonders!

This is Hidimba3, not Rambha6!

The false masks have fallen away,

The real faces are visible!

----------------------------------------

(61) A Victory Story

----------------------------------------

Terror wails!

Riddled \ gory

Innocent corpses,

Corpses scattered

In fields and farms,

Corpses strewn

On roads.

Powerless,

Mother, wife, sisters, daughters,

Father, brothers, friends, neighbours -

Impulses checked,

Fury held back,

Bent heads

Mute, helpless!

In the house of worship

Celebrations

By the followers of the Guru and God,

By the theists !

--------------------------------------

(62) Torment

----------------------------------------

Terror : noiselessness

A hush spreads everywhere

Scared dogs

Frightened birds

Are tongue-tied

It appears

Once again

The cruel barbarians

Have killed innocent people,

Have killed them mercilessly!

They have been snuffed out

In the dead of night,

Strengthening the silence

Once again have rung

Many slogans of religion!

Danger waits

Extreme danger!

When the night ends

Nervous dogs will wail,

And frightened birds will cry!

We,

Bearing the pain of the wounded age

Will carry the garbage of history!

----------------------------------------

(63) Protection

----------------------------------------

Let's tear off

And throw into raging fire

The countless leeches

Stuck on the new body of the nation,

Blood hungry,

Greed-guided

Ravenous,

Are these leeches -

Let us prevent immediately

Their all consuming lust

From devouring everything!

Let the new body of the nation

Not be destroyed thus,

Let a handful of selfish people

Not plunder the wealth of the developing nation!

----------------------------------------

(64) A Show

----------------------------------------

You too offered fake coins

And came back?

What a pity!

We were deceived even this time!

See -

Is not 'secularism'

A fake coin?

And 'social justice' too?

These are not the only ones,

There are many other

Completely worn black coins -

Those of 'national unity'

Those of 'constitutional protection'

Which you threw even this time

On a show of a joker!

You who were the maker of India's destiny!

One expected

Gold and silver coins

From you,

What a mess you have made!

It's a strange and absurd show

There is complete hopelessness,

What kind of democratic structure is this?

Rather it is just the raining of slaps

On the people's cheeks!

----------------------------------------

(65) Acceptance

----------------------------------------

Loneliness is your lot

Tolerate it

Happily!

Loneliness is natural

Take it

Desirously!

To try to escape it -

Is aberration!

Only accepting it

Is a boon!

Therefore

Accept this willingly,

Respect this whole-heartedly!

----------------------------------------

(66) Helpless

----------------------------------------

If life is pain,

Then bear its pangs

We must!

If life is a secret,

Then remain silent

We must!

If there is no harbour

Then row on

We must!

If life is a calamity

Then be washed away

We must!

If fire surrounds us,

Then burn constantly

We must!

How terrible is truth!

Then utter every falsehood

We must!

----------------------------------------

(67) One Night

----------------------------------------

Like a flash of lightning

You came in the dark sky of my life!

In my arms you swung

When swayed freely the month of saawan6!

Like a shruti9 tune you rang

When the kajali4 was heard outside!

Like the music of anklets you chimed

When the tri-yama10 became fragrant!

Standing near the tulsi11 in the courtyard

You shone resplendent, O the only one!

Like a flame you glowed

Coming in my forlorn home and courtyard!

----------------------------------------

(68) Suddenly

----------------------------------------

Today I remembered you,

My heart resounded with song !

As if the sound of Anhad1 echoed in my heart !

After years,

O, after years!

Your company was the only truth,

Your hand the only protection,

Everything has disappeared, but

The ecstasy of each lived moment remains!

Ages have entered oblivion,

Sowing dreams in nights,

But those sweet images

Have always inhabited my life!

----------------------------------------

(69) Before The Rains

----------------------------------------

Today dark clouds fill the sky,

Inky clouds!

After months

Of heat,

And the scorching of the body,

The veil of atmosphere fluttered

As it embraced the breeze!

As if someone threw

On its shoulders

The silk shawl

Of the slate clouds!

Bewitching is the sight,

Delightful are the clouds,

The inky clouds!

----------------------------------------

(70) Truth

----------------------------------------

Bondage

Rises-as a challenge

As refusal,

And raises always

Rebellion / force / resistance

Blazes / anger.

Bondage

Rises - as love's achievement,

As acceptance,

And raises -

Infatuation / permanent binding / graceful offering

The fire of living.

----------------------------------------

(71) A Particular Thought

----------------------------------------

Dreams do not come true just like that,

It takes generations to realize them,

Dreams do not turn into reality

By mere words of manav5- incantation,

The patience and diligence of generations

Actualizes them!

----------------------------------------

(72) Meaningfulness

----------------------------------------

The day

Man loves his fellow beings,

Rises

Above each division

Forgets

The difference

Between the familiar and the unfamiliar,

And welcomes all -

Dreams

Will become true,

And the world

Will appear friendly.

----------------------------------------

(73) A Wish

----------------------------------------

Let life flow freely,

Let it lead to victory!

Let each one find solace

Under the tree-shade of blessings!

Let there be songs played day and night

On the harp of the soul!

Let sweet dreams ever come

And bring pleasure and laughter!

Let no one be sad

Let laughter ring!

Let each man become gold

Made pure in the inner fire!

Let each one bear bravely

The knocks of the unknown fate!

----------------------------------------

(74) Possible - 1

----------------------------------------

Come

Let's strike

Strike hard -

Things will change,

The belly of the earth

Will shake,

Rock layers

Will crack,

And will gush forth

Fountains!

Come

Let's strike

Strike together -

The situation will change,

Rocks will sprout,

And will dress up

In verdure!

----------------------------------------

(75) Possible - 2

----------------------------------------

Come

Let's ram in

Ram in with all force,

Ultimately

The shape of iron

Will change,

The closed fortress-gate

Will open!

Holding flames of freedom

Everyone will walk in,

And in each corner

Will look for his life's treasure!

The bugle of a new age will sound,

The sun will rise!

Come

Let's ram in,

Ram in together

Our lives will be made,

Each needy and suffering person

Will find his feet!

----------------------------------------

Appendix

1 Anhad Nad

The inner sound of the heart which can be heard by yogis.

2 Ganga-water

Water of the sacred river - the Ganges (In India)

3 Hidimba

A demon princess in Indian mythology who married Bhim, one of the Pandavas in the Mahabharata.

4 Kajali

A type of folk-song; sung by ladies during Bhaadon (a rainy month) festival.

5 Manav-mantra

Words of incantation - for full-filling the dreams.

6 Rambha

A mythological figure, was a celestial court dancer in the court of god Indra, the king of Hindu gods. She is a symbol of female beauty.

7 Saavan \ Bhaadon

Are two consecutive months (fifth and sixth) of the rainy season in Indian (Hindu) calendar.

8 Shiv-Tirth

A great pilgrimage of Shiv - a Hindu god of welfare.

9 Shruti-svar

A minute part of a musical note produced at the time of carrying one musical note to another.

10 Tri-yama

Third part of the night - a time of union of husband & wife.

11 Tulsi

A famous basil plant. It is considered holy by Hindus and worshipped in their courtyards.

----------------------------------------

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