EXUBERANCE and other poems
[75 Poems]
by Dr. Mahendra Bhatnagar
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Contents
1 Exuberance
2 Duty
3 Recognition
4 Climax 
5 Building
6 To Live
7 Birthday
8 Meeting
9 Touch
10 Failed
11 Waiting
12 It Has Never Happened Before
13 Unfettered Voice
14 The Valiant Workers
15 Not Anymore
16 Unwanted
17 Experience-Proved
18 Desired 
19 Relevance
20 Life
21 Response
22 Courage
23 To the Kargil Front
24 Futile
25 Radiance
26 Yearnings
27 Winter-Wet
28 Winter
29 Conclusion
30 Symbol
31 You ...
32 Awareness of Joy
33 Festival
34 Contradictory
35 Lonely
36 Solitary
37 The Final Curtain
38 Wonder
39 Hurt
40 Broken Hearted
41 Renunciation-Consciousness
42 Relationship
43 Companions
44 Agony
45 The Final Request
46 Advice
47 Arrogance
48 Frustrated
49 Unaffected
50 Self-Observation
51 Before End - 1
52 Before End - 2
53 Enlightenment
54 Someone Unknown
55 To the Hawker
56 Suicide
57 People
58 Keep Awake
59 Corruption
60 The End
61 A Victory Story
62 Torment
63 Protection
64 A Show
65 Acceptance
66 Helpless
67 One Night
68 Suddenly
69 Before The Rains
70 Truth
71 A Special Thought
72 Meaningfulness
73 A Wish
74 Possible - 1
75 Possible - 2
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Exuberance and other poem
Dr. R. S. Sharma
Professor of English, BHU, Varanasi.
The seventy-five poems of Mahendra Bhatnagar represent a wide range in terms of theme, mood and tone. They give us a glimpse of Mahendra Bhatnagar’s high stature as a poet, who can induce in the reader serious thinking as well as aesthetic delight.
The collection opens with ‘Exuberance’ (Umang) presenting a highly charged sensuous description of the transitional hour of the day. In the midst of mixed light and shade and insistent draughts of wind, we glimpse the body of the beloved :
Impassioned
And knowingly getting trembling-wet
Is the beloved’s body!
Dr. Mahendra Bhatnagar is most successful in vivifying directly experienced scene of Nature and prismatic states of weather; he often makes the objects of Nature to carry symbolic meaning and convey dedicate and transitory states of the mind. ‘Birthday’ finds a fitting conclusion in the lamp, which has kept burning in the midst of storms. Loss of hope is analogous to ‘ the twittering branch of the evening that suddenly went deaf and mute.’ ‘Waiting’ is a series of Nature processes that suggest agony of waiting. ‘Yearning’ makes us feel what it is to dwell in the lap of Nature - silk-smooth grass, greenish thorns, butterflies wearing pied printed saris, the tamarind and guava trees.
The poet in the form of a blessing receives love and it lifts him to a new level of being with a sense of miraculous release. The emotion approaches the poet’s heart by means of quiet gestures: ‘since / we knew each other - / Involuntarily / Sweet songs began to flow / from my mute lips. (‘Meeting’). As soon as the beloved touches the forehead of the lover, all his problems dissolve and a stronger feeling of joy fills his heart: ‘In my heart / Suddenly burst forth / Thousands of / Morning fresh flowers’ (Touch’) In the course of his life, Mahendra Bhatnagar has witnessed the national shame of subjugation and an intense desire to attain freedom. He has felt the joy of being independent, he has also shared the triumphs and sorrows of free India. All these experiences are preserved by him in memorable verse steeped throughout this collection - and indeed, on a larger scale, in the vast corpus of his writing.
Born in the land of Laxmibai, when he rouses the warriors to advance and crush the enemy, he reminds us of Subhadrakumari Chauhan and when he takes up a national theme, he has something of Maithilisharan Gupta. In addition, when he writes of the have-nots, he exploited and the labouring workers, he shows genuine empathy, and the verse assumes revolutionary overtones.
Dr. Mahendra Bhatnagar knows what it is to feel failure and disappointment, but his abiding strength is in courage and will to survive and overcome. The poet is aware of his broken dreams when the sweetness of a loving heart changed into poison. (‘Unwanted’) He tells us how difficult it is to create a fresh world of equality (‘Futile’). He is aware of the pain of separation from dear ones who left this world, and doesn’t know whom to call (‘Solitary’). He carries a wounded psyche with a bitter taste in the mouth (‘Hurt’) With the personal sense of failure he joins the general sense of suffering and disillusionment of our age: ‘We / Bearing the pain of the wounded age / Will carry the garbage of history’ (‘Torment’) When dealing with this mood, Dr. Mahendra Bhatnagar is a modernist like W.B. Yeats and T.S.Eliot.
On the other hand, the note of buoyancy and hoe is even stronger. It is in the nature of man to love all created things and beautiful objects; it is also natural to him to imagine beautiful worlds (‘Duty’) The poet is fully conscious of the dignity and power of labour (‘The Valiant Workers’) For him, experience has proved that the dark hours are bound to pass and day will surely dawn (‘Experience - Proved’) It is true that man is powerless before destiny and nothing can stop the progress of human knowledge and science. His deepest insight is that which all great thinkers and poets have realized: ‘in this life / There is nothing, / Nothing indeed / More beautiful than love / anywhere!’ However, he also knows that there is nothing more difficult than love - it is an ideal not easily to be achieved. Yet try we must because as W.H. Auden describes in a poem, ‘We must love one another, or die.’
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(1) EXUBERANCE
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The evening,
Caught between light and shade
The rain falls,
The sky drizzles!
Repeatedly,
See how
The eager wind
Knocks the door-
Expected, unexpected!
Far and near,
In fields, in market places and on the crossroads,
Impassioned,
And knowingly getting trembling-wet
Is the beloved's body!
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(2) DUTY
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To love
This life, this world
Is what a man must do!
To love
People,
Mute animals, birds, sea-creatures,
The forest creepers,
The trees,
Is what a man must do!
To love
The buds and the blooms,
The myriad hued
Butterflies
Is what a man must do!
To love
The miracle-studded,
And wonderously
Incoherent
Dreams;
To love
The dainty fairies
Floating through the sweetest
Fancies
Is what a man must do!
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(3) RECOGNITION
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How ugly
Is the realty
Of these sky-kissing
Rainbow-rimmed
Buildings
Is known to us!
How petty, fragmented and dwarfish
Is the face of these heights
Is known to us!
How beautiful
Is the unreal and false attraction
Of these fairy-world-like young women
Is known to us!
How pleasing, soft and enthralling
Is the lotus leaved
Fair-skinned touch
Is known to us!
Familiar are we
With the prick of
These fragrant nectared
Moist flowers;
With the primeval burning of the body
Scented with the wine of lust,
How inviting
Is their bed
Is known to us!
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(4) CLIMAX
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Only a moment
Marks the difference -
Between happening
And non-happening!
A fine border line stretches
Between being and non-being.
Only a thin line
Lies Between laughter
And tears!
A little change,
And the expression
Of our innermost feelings
Changes.
It is not possible
To draw the boundary
Between living and dying!
Conditions -
Are almost the same,
A desire kept alive
For ages
May take shape one moment,
And may disappear the next.
A blink in time
Is enough
To change gain into loss.
Only a moment lies
Between being
And non-being.
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(5) BUILDING
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The walls rise
Like the sides of a well.
Rooms are small
Like narrow streets;
In it -
There is neither a garden
Nor a courtyard
Is this
A picture of modern architecture ?
Or,
An image
Of the cramped heart,
A mirror
Of self
Trapped in itself !
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(6) TO LIVE
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Terror fills the skies,
Hot are the winds
With sulphur, with venom;
But up to the destination
Braving storms
Ceaselessly,
We have to move!
Like a flood of fire
The flames shoot up
Again and again;
But up to the destination
Over crackling embers,
On lonely paths,
We have to walk,
Bearing the heat,
Getting singed and
Being burnt!
Mines of gunpowder
Are laid all over,
In the rivers, the mountains and the forests
But up to the destination
Solitary,
We have to walk,
Our iron feet pounding
The pits, the trenches
Again and again.
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(7) BIRTHDAY
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And now turns
One more page
Of this book of life.
One year
More
Of
Living.
Lucky I was,
Death
Spared me.
Even
In the storm,
The lamp
Kept burning.
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(8) MEETING
----------------------------------------
Since
We knew each other -
Involuntarily,
Sweet songs began to flow
From my mute lips.
The first time
I saw you,
My eyes were lost in you,
Hope soared
The heart spread wings
And wished
To touch the sky.
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(9) TOUCH
----------------------------------------
O
Innocent!
Your soft cool
Fingers
Touched
My forehead -
That moment,
I thought no more
Of my problems.
In my heart
Suddenly burst forth
Thousands of
Morning fresh flowers ~
And faded
The countless thorns
And desert bushes
Of my path.
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(10) FAILED
----------------------------------------
The wave like
Bouncing hopes in my heart
Died down.
Suddenly,
The twittering branch
Of the evening
Went deaf and mute.
The waiting,
Sleepless
Eyes
Wept helplessly
In silence.
The mourning night
Washed the whole creation
With droplets of dew.
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(11) WAITING
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The night
Is cold and endless -
How long
Can we keep awake?
The night
Is wet,
Dew-drenched,
The curse
Of winter
How much more -
Can we bear quietly ?
The shivering body,
In the fog
Leaves droop,
How long
Can we tell
The story of our agony ?
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(12) IT HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE
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It
Has never happened before -
That words
Have been so crippled,
Words with feet,
Words that walk and run,
Not one,
But so many of them!
It
Has never happened before -
That words
Of myriad expressions,
Of various intents
Have become hollow,
Ineffective,
Mere signs!
Words
Do not walk on crutches,
Their feet
Are winged,
They rise in the boundless sky
For hundred of yards,
They cross
The deepest ravines,
Time and again,
They bring back
Bundles of precious rubies!
Such words,
Such swift words,
Such darkness destroying words,
Such fire-like scorching words,
It
Has never happened before
That they have become lame,
That they have fainted,
That they have cooled down!
Words,
Pregnant with
The condensed pain
Of an entire life
Have become
So bare,
Have been lost so completely
In the air.
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(13) UNFETTERED VOICE
----------------------------------------
Who is it
That stops you
From telling the truth?
Who is it
That prevents you
From laying bare
The reality of life?
Who keeps in check
Your consciousness?
Who has chained
Your inspirations?
Who
Strangles
Your voice?
Lined with despair
Is your face,
Tearful are your eyes,
Screaming
Impotence.
How long
Will this throat remain dry ?
The voice —
The hoarse voice
Speaks,
How clearly
It expresses everything.
No,
Let this bondage
End,
Let it loosen
With each heartbeat.
Let the voice be free,
Unbound!
Speak —
This stiffness will end!
And each word
Will become radiant!
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(14) THE VALIANT WORKERS
----------------------------------------
We are the ones
To bring new dawn to every home,
To paint the world in rainbow colours,
To give fragrance to the buds,
To fill voices with new songs.
We are the ones
To give music to fee
To pour nectar into life,
To put dreams into eyes,
To fill the dawn with spring-bloom.
It is we who make life worth living,
It is we who believe - work is valor.
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(15) NOT ANY MORE
----------------------------------------
Not a step more
On the path
Of age-worn principles,
Today lies uncovered
Each deception
Of this exploiting system.
No longer possible it is
To be caught in the beliefs of the past,
And to stunt
The ever expanding consciousness.
Uncovered is the banality
Of all old rituals,
No longer possible it is
To destroy
The new creation
Of the ever-changing social life.
A new peak of human respect
Rises,
The earth and the sky are bathed
In a new light,
The crushed life
Glows,
The hard rock is moulded
Into beautiful sculpture.
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(16) UNWANTED
----------------------------------------
I never wanted it -
That the nimble feet
Of coloured dreams
Should not reach the horizon!
I never wanted it -
That the rain should not fill with song
The heavens of this life!
That the lightening should not flash
In the lap of the nectar-raining
Dark clouds!
I never wanted it -
That the tiredness
Of failed fancies
Should break wings,
That youth
Should not kiss
The riding tides!
But,
Things kept happening, unwanted,
Dreams became cripple,
Lost was the pleasant dewiness
Of saavan6
When the sweetness
Of a loving heart
Turned to poison!
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(17) EXPERIENCE-PROVED
----------------------------------------
Undoubtedly,
This night will be pitch-dark,
This night will be ghastly,
And each hurting knock
Will fail,
And defeated will this night pass!
Undoubtedly,
We shall be free
From the agonising dark circle,
We shall stand before
A golden morning,
A morning
Tinted with vermilion!
Undoubtedly,
Light
Will conquer darkness,
Yes, undoubtedly!
Birds shall twitter,
And men
Shall sing the morning choir!
From the sky,
Shall descend
The sunbeams with dancing steps,
Smiling brightly!
It is certain
That the torturous, difficult, distressing and dark
Night shall pass!
Teeming
This sky shall rain fury,
And the wounded life of man
Shall heal !
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(18) DESIRED
----------------------------------------
I have roved so much
In the murkiness of clouds,
I have wandered endlessly
In the darkness of my mind!
Carrying
My sable-ashen body
I have rambled unceasingly,
Day in and day out,
I have wandered!
Now is the time
To bathe to the full
In the stream of light,
To get into the radiant waterfall of truth
And bathe for the rest of my life!
I will sink in light,
And I will swim in light,
I will let my body float,
And I will let my mind float,
I will bathe to the full!
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(19) RELEVANCE
----------------------------------------
Come,
Let's step out
Of the circle of these walls,
Of these ramparts!
Let's rise above
Our pleasure seeking
And change the world's lament
Into music!
Let's gift smiles
To pale, weeping faces,
Let's clear the mist
Hanging over life's path!
Let's paint
This pitch dark world
With a resplendent brilliance,
With merciless attacks
Of miseries and wants.
Let's cover
The defects and the helplessness
With victory-garlands
Laden with yellow and red roses!
Let's visit each home
And give the frightened children
Lovely laughter,
Let's raise a colourful garden
On this gravelled and thorny barrenness!
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(20) LIFE
----------------------------------------
Each arrived moment
Is welcome!
Holding my hand
Rises the day,
Riding on my shoulders
Grows the day,
Out of my mind
A new piece of writing
Is shaped by the day,
Out of my body
A new creation
Is sculpted by the day,
Fighting on my strength
Has the day been victorious,
On my living from moment to moment
Lives the day,
My pace gives meaning
To the immortal time,
I am
The unconquered, ceaseless fighting,
Before me bows
Each mountain-obstacle
Each approaching moment
Is welcome!
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(21) RESPONCE
----------------------------------------
From the nuclear explosion
Rose
The voice of Lord Buddha —
Let assured
Be peace,
Let everywhere
Be the glow of goodness!
Let secure
Be the civilization, culture and humanity,
Let evil disappear from the world!
Let the world be free
From violence and cruelty,
And be full of love and kindness!
Let not
Animal power
Celebrate now the festival of death anywhere!
Only then will meaningful
Be this great invention
Of knowledge and of science,
This matchless and wonderful
Gift of man!
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(22) COURAGE
----------------------------------------
It's true, man is powerless
Before chance,
However capable a person might be
It's only destiny that wins,
It takes only a moment
For man's creation to crumble down
So potent is Nature.
And yet, each challenge is welcome,
Come what may,
Incessant will the progress be
Of human knowledge and science.
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(23) GOING TO THE KARGIL FRONT
----------------------------------------
O the brave saviours of our borders!
Pounce on the enemy posts and devastate them.
Let the barbaric killers of our motherland
Be strewn everywhere,
Let the boom of your guns
Strike terror in their hearts.
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(24) FUTILE
----------------------------------------
Proved it is
That those who have
Privilege and wealth
Are powerful.
Selfishly
And in gratification of lust
The strong constantly
Plundered the weak,
Were masters of time
The way they liked.
Their islands of opulence
Are everywhere,
And from end to end stretches
Their mighty empire,
They are hailed everywhere!
How difficult it seems
To create a fresh world
Of equality,
Free from exploitation,
Why does the superman
Not incarnate
Into a figure of justice
And fame !
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(25) RADIANCE
----------------------------------------
Life-long
It burns
Consuming itself !
It destroys
Darkness
Spread over faraway paths!
It fills
Each house with glow
Born out of an inner flame!
Its representatives we are,
The best and the fittest,
We the destroyers of darkness
We the guides to light
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(26) YEARNINGS
----------------------------------------
The whole day long -
The solitary
Rover played
With the silk-smooth
Grass lying on the ground,
With the bright
Gold like sun
Stepping into the courtyard,
Self-willed and free - this alone
Played abundantly,
The whole day long!
The whole day long -
In the shade
Of fresh heavy laden flowers,
In the embrace
Of greenish thorns,
Caught
In the inebriating fragrance
Was lost!
Swung
In the branches
Of shy innocent buds,
Of long, thin pods!
Swung arm in arm
With each branch, each leaf,
Swung the whole day long!
The whole day long -
Loved
The butterflies
Wearing pied printed sarees
And the spring-yellow
Love-mature and talkative mustard flowers,
Loved abundantly,
Danced together from field to field,
The whole day long!
The whole day long -
On the tamarind
And on the guava tree
Secretly moved
From branch to branch,
In the ears of the berry-bush
Whispered
Who knows what!
Played,
Played the whole day long!
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(27) WINTER-WET
----------------------------------------
Slowly descended
The dew-drops
All through the night!
An ice-cold silence
Shields the sleeping earth,
On leaves and flowers danced
The love-puppet night,
The artist mist
Constructed a canopied dwelling!
Here, there and everywhere,
Like scattered diamonds are drops of
water,
Stealthily prowl about
The gusts of wind,
Like a guard
Woke the waterfall ringing!
Lively is the gathering
Presided over by the night,
Her lover tightly held in her arms,
Wakes and sleeps the beloved,
Hidden somewhere
Is the frightened dawn !
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(28) WINTER
----------------------------------------
Wet and heavy is the night,
And far away is sleep!
A deep murkiness is all around,
And a long way off is the crimson morning,
All sounds are still,
At such a time, why are you silent,
Do share a secret with me!
The fog rains quietly,
Cooled has been the sky's heat,
Silently meet the earth and sky,
At such a moment be with me,
Or else, the cold body will shiver!
Only the silence reigns
Trees sway beyond the fields,
Unexpectedly do the doors rattle,
Do not open the window and peep out,
There is intoxicating wind lies in wait!
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(29) CONCLUSION
----------------------------------------
In this life
There is nothing,
Nothing indeed
More beautiful than love,
Anywhere!
If birth is a blessing
It is because of this,
Indeed, because of this!
If the fragrant life is more bewitching
Than even fascination,
It is because of this!
In this life
There is nothing,
Nothing indeed
More comforting than love,
Anywhere!
Because there is love,
So this life has the scent of a flower,
Or else, it is a thorn in the heart,
Burning its way each moment!
In this life
There is nothing,
Nothing indeed
More difficult than love
Anywhere!
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(30) SYMBOL
----------------------------------------
Who knows when
You kept a bunch
Of entwined flowers
In my room
And left!
It is as if
You placed a mirror
Reflecting rays
Of myriad unfelt and new
Feelings
In my room
And were deceived
By yourself !
O!
The meaning of life
Suddenly changed
As if
Someone stumbling
Regained balance
With new feelings of love
And rising like huge new waves.
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(31) YOU …
----------------------------------------
You are the sparrow
Of my courtyard
You will fly away!
Now my house rings
With sweet harmony,
The nectar of love rains
From all sides,
I fear
Who knows when
You will leave and be lost!
As long as
We are together,
Let's hold hands,
For a few days at least,
Let's live together
As partners
In pleasure and pain,
Let's love each other,
You are the pathway of my life,
Who knows where and when
You will branch off.
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(32) AWARENESS OF JOY
----------------------------------------
After a long wait have bloomed
Flowers in the pot,
Yellow joyous flowers,
The thickly-petalled
Fresh marigold flowers!
After a long wait have bloomed
Flowers in my life,
Soft, delighted flowers
Of exhilarating feelings,
The luscious flowers!
After ages
Have I received
The gift of saawan and bhaadon7.
After ages
Have the doors been decorated
With buntings of mango leaves!
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(33) FESTIVAL
----------------------------------------
Bloom!
Bloom, O colourful flowers!
Bloom in each pot,
Bloom in each bed,
Bloom in joy!
Bloom!
Bloom, O colourful flowers!
Swing on each branch,
Swing playfully
In the soft breeze!
Bloom!
Bloom, O colourful flowers!
Graze the young buds,
Touch each leaf,
Touch the green veil of the earth!
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(34) CONTRADITORY
----------------------------------------
In desolate forests,
A warm welcome
To the blooming flowers
Raining on beds of thorns,
Flowers-mute in agony!
A joyous, hearty welcome
To the multicoloured
Nectar raining
Blushing flowers!
An ardent welcome
To the succor giving flowers,
Lying on gravelly
And difficult
Thorn-filled path!
But, there is only
The feel of pricking thorns
On each step,
Everywhere rings their cacophony,
Hurting the body
And the mind!
O creator!
Do not create
A one-sided life!
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(35) LONELY
----------------------------------------
In this city
Of glorious buildings,
Of reflections of beauty
Floating in luminescence,
Who is known to you,
Who indeed is familiar?
Someone with whom
You can talk easily,
Anytime,
Some with whom you can share
The secrets of the heart!
Someone who is
Close to your heart,
And reliable!
Someone to whom
You can write a letter,
And talk on phone,
Unhesitatingly!
Someone whose door
You can knock boldly,
Or call out his name!
Who is such
A friend of yours ?
All are unfamiliar,
All are strangers
In this large, sprawling city!
Not anywhere in sight
Is someone
Who can be called your own!
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(36) SOLITARY
----------------------------------------
Now, O!
No one remembers me.
No one ever visits me!
Life lies mute
In the arms of death -
Now, O!
The heart does not make songs,
Nor does it sing any!
Silent are the instruments,
No tune
Is played on them
Nor any rises!
Those who were there -
Have been lost on the way,
Those who are there -
Tired-defeated / bored
Have gone to sleep!
Whom would one call,
Whom would one wake up?
The world has grown strange
And we have become aliens!
Whom would one visit
Who would be drawn close to the heart ?
Each is lost
In himself,
In his joys,
In his sorrows!
No one is with me,
All Colours have fled from life!
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(37) THE FINAL CURTAIN
----------------------------------------
It's evening now!
No one will come
Forget
All names!
It's evening now!
Do not light the lamps
Soothing is the darkness,
Let me dream
Of one
Who has always
Deceived me!
The one who has grown
In the helpless silence of my mind!
Nothing remains
To be done!
It's evening now!
Let me go to bed
This early in the evening,
Unendingly!
Dimensions ....
Dimensions!
Do not light the lamps
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(38) WONDER
----------------------------------------
Who stole the laughter of flowers ?
Who gave us a harvest of thorns ?
Who Oh! torments again and again
Cruelly reminding me of long forgotten lapses ?
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(39) HURT
----------------------------------------
The mouth has a bitter taste,
How can I drink ?
Living on is a compulsion,
Heavy is the heart,
How can I welcome someone
With a false smile ?
Desolate and sear is the garden,
Withered and mute is life
Where are the flowers now?
Only the yellow leaves fall!
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(40) BROKEN HEARTED
----------------------------------------
When faith
Is lost -
There is an earthquake
Inside,
Within,
A massive blood-tide rises!
But uncomplainingly
A man
Bears the hurt
Of harsh fate,
Lying silent and half dead
On a bed of embers,
He is burnt each moment!
He lives and dies
Against the backdrop
Of shrieks and moans,
And drinks poison
Laughing insanely!
Faith
Is lost when
A companionship
Ends!
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(41) RENUNCIATION-CONSCIOUSNESS
----------------------------------------
When a simple and believing man
Bears
The cunning and infidelity
Of those near his heart,
Then ...
He weeps in pain
Alone,
And laments over
His misfortune again and again!
But
He does not become a murderer,
Nor does he commit suicide,
Alone
He burns silently
In the hell-fires of his mind,
And consoles himself meaninglessly,
Again and again wandering in delusion
And thus deceives himself
Repeatedly!
Do not think him a coward,
It's known to him
That nothing will be gained
By cursing anyone!
Why should one run away
From the act of living this life!
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(42) Relationship
----------------------------------------
When the fortress of trust
Crumbles -
The crippled man
Bears silently
The deepest agony ...
He gets ready
To live
A meaningless life,
And to taste bitterness
Everyday!
His remaining days are singed!
When the fortress of trust
Crumbles!
Or else,
Annihilating himself
He floats noiselessly in emptiness!
Destroying his identity
He quietly says -
O, do not break
Anyone's trust -
Trust is the bond,
Trust is life!
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(43) Companions
----------------------------------------
O waves of pain!
How much and
How long
Will you tickle me ?
How much and
How long
Will you make me laugh
Uncontrollably ?
Holding me in your arms
How long
And how far
Will you make me
Your loving companion ?
O waves of pain
Cruel
Waves wounding the consciousness!
----------------------------------------
(44) Agony
----------------------------------------
Had my life
Been a waste,
I'd have endured it,
In a sorrowful voice
I'd have sung poems
Now and then!
But
To bear this painful experience
Of septic wounds,
To be scorched from moment to moment
In this flaming furnace of life
From birth to death
Is killing,
Is cruelly destroying!
The entire ocean
Has gone muddy,
Who knows
The sins of how many births
Visit me!
----------------------------------------
(45) The Final Request
----------------------------------------
Poor,
Extremely poor I am,
While leaving
Give me also
Something to live on!
Something which is
Truly mine
Something which is
A pleasant sweet, dream!
Thirsty,
Very thirsty I am,
While leaving
Give me also
Something to drink!
Let that be the clean Ganga2-water,
Let that be overflowing honey!
I know
I have to burn
Till the last moment,
A deep darkness hangs
Over the road on which I travel!
A curse has been
This lonely life,
Strictly prohibited are laughter and tears!
----------------------------------------
(46) Advice
----------------------------------------
O body, you are so tired,
O mind, so weak and defeated are you
Go to sleep!
This living
Has been hard,
This living in the howling
Of violent storms!
O my sad and hurt soul,
O my deeply wounded body,
Lose your memory,
And feel a bit better!
You are very tired
Go to sleep!
----------------------------------------
(47) Arrogance
----------------------------------------
To me
You gave a roof
And security
And respect
And a beautiful name
Of a relationship -
Should merely for this
This statement be justified -
'Hate
The sinful act
And not the sinner ?'
What is sin?
What is virtue?
What is truth?
----------------------------------------
(48) Frustrated
----------------------------------------
When -
That which was wanted \ desired \ longed for
Was not gained,
What was the sense in living ?
When
In a green garden
Spread over miles
The desired, loved,
Fragrant,
Thrilled rose failed to bloom :
When life's struggle went waste,
When the heart
Was tortured by misery
Each moment,
What was the sense in living?
Agreed that
Many precious gifts came my way,
And diamond necklaces too,
On countless successes
Innumerable throats sang
My praise to the skies,
I received the high-test awards,
And blessings at each step!
But
I did not get what I desired -
It seems that this precious life
Was a waste,
As if almost complete
Difficult austerities
Failed at the end!
The flames of want rose,
Each dream was reduced to ash!
As is no one's blessings touched
The poor, frustrated, indigent beggar!
----------------------------------------
(49) Unaffected
----------------------------------------
For years
I have lived this life
Alone
And will go on living quietly
The rest of it!
I drank poison-water
Day and night
Helplessly,
In the eager expectation of death!
In watching the annihilating future!
Everything poisoned
I'll drink gladly
Unbidden,
Living my remaining days!
Do not worry -
I am the resident of a house of poison,
I am the great
Pilgrimage of Shiva8
Of my time!
----------------------------------------
(50) Self-Observation
----------------------------------------
Throughout my life
I did not do
A good deed!
Like this
All live their lives,
I did not have an extraordinary life!
I was lost
In myself,
O Creator!
Be merciful and forgive me!
----------------------------------------
(51) Before End - 1
----------------------------------------
Memories are flowers!
Multicoloured,
Laughing flowers!
When memories
Wake -
It seems each door is decorated
With buntings of mango leaves
All around!
Life becomes fragrant
With scents.
Life overflows
With sweet, intoxicating nectar
Life glows
With bright fresh colours!
At such moments
Man immerses himself
In the sweet world of dreams
Forgetting the present!
Everywhere, everything
Looks favourable,
As if branches are laden
With flowers!
As if flowers of pleasant feelings
Swing everywhere!
----------------------------------------
(52) Before End - 2
----------------------------------------
Memories are thorns!
Piercing, pointed thorns!
When memories
Awaken -
It seems as if
All around a dust storm rages,
Life burns
In painful hell-fires,
Life stumbles, cries
In wilderness,
With a stricken heart!
Man
At such moments
Crumbles and falls
In the dark, deep cave
And is uprooted completely!
Everywhere, everything
Appears hindering,
The sharp piercing thorns
Enter the heart!
The thorns of painful
Unwanted experience.
----------------------------------------
(53) Enlightenment
----------------------------------------
Strange it is,
Days ... weeks ... months ... years
Pass in strife
A wonder it is!
There is nothing one can control!
O, nothing indeed,
Does life
Mean
'Helplessness'?
One day
Just like that
Suddenly everything
Will vanish!
Do we see a dividing line
Anywhere ?
Then what can be said about
Meaningfulness / futility ?
Existence -
It's something that will disappear,
Birth and consciousness
Are something to be dissolved,
Then
Why this strife ?
Let
Night and day
Day and night
Pass each moment,
Unbroken is the passage of time,
Through obstacles and felicity!
----------------------------------------
(54) Someone Unknown
----------------------------------------
A man / bent / dejected
Moaning in pain
Carrying a ruined life
Passed away.
A man / bent / desperate
Hurt and bleeding profusely
Screaming / asking for succour / just a moment ago
Passed away.
----------------------------------------
(55) To The Hawker
----------------------------------------
What is this?
Everyday
You throw a blood-drenched
Newspaper
Into my house ?
Full of all kinds of accidents
Is each column,
Marks of indiscriminately fired bullets
Showing clearly on each page!
One is afraid
Of touching it ... of reading it,
Flaming
Poison throwing
The newspaper comes to bite me!
Although
Every night I go to bed
After having heard the news
That nothing unpleasant happened anywhere,
There is tension
But everything is in control!
----------------------------------------
(56) Suicide
----------------------------------------
We ourselves
Are destroying us!
Strange
That we do not feel the pain!
Because
Our hearts and mind
Are drugged
By the primitive and savage insanity
Of religion.
We ourselves
Are throwing hand-grenades on ourselves!
In madness
Are laying mines of fire
In our own house
And are attacking our own people!
We ourselves
Have abandoned the shape of a man
And have put on animal hides,
We growl
And snatch away the lives
Of our own descendants!
----------------------------------------
(57) People
----------------------------------------
People only walk behind
The crowd!
Their destination
They don't know,
They are vacuous,
Completely thoughtless!
Or wander
Near their nests!
There
Is a noise,
Has a man-eater
Come?
In the susurration
Of pine forests!
----------------------------------------
(58) Keep Awake
----------------------------------------
Keep awake, in this world till dawn!
There is terror all around,
The wounded humanity weeps
Bear the strokes, till people are united!
Let each man be free from bondage
Fight against the current
Till the people's strife to victory rages!
Fight death,
Do not give up
Move towards the goal, do not stop
Till the savages are broken and defeated!
----------------------------------------
(59) Corruption
----------------------------------------
How well it spreads
All around
Like weed!
Every moment
It has been pushing the country
Into the abyss.
Has played a cruel barbarous game
With the precious lives of millions!
Mean and unwanted
Is this behavior,
Polluted is
The character!
----------------------------------------
(60) The End
----------------------------------------
A crowd of swindlers
Sing full-throated
Each other's praise!
Flourish
In air-conditioned houses,
Sing songs of victory
And enjoy a comfortable ride
On the merry-go-round!
Let you be successful,
Let all problems be solved soon!
Wealth is all, it is supremacy,
The scoundrels know its glory
They know
Its unlimited and invincible power!
But, all were caught
In the bind of the law
Great sawamis, all politicians
Cunning ministers, hypocritical religious saints!
Wonder of wonders!
This is Hidimba3, not Rambha6!
The false masks have fallen away,
The real faces are visible!
----------------------------------------
(61) A Victory Story
----------------------------------------
Terror wails!
Riddled \ gory
Innocent corpses,
Corpses scattered
In fields and farms,
Corpses strewn
On roads.
Powerless,
Mother, wife, sisters, daughters,
Father, brothers, friends, neighbours -
Impulses checked,
Fury held back,
Bent heads
Mute, helpless!
In the house of worship
Celebrations
By the followers of the Guru and God,
By the theists !
--------------------------------------
(62) Torment
----------------------------------------
Terror : noiselessness
A hush spreads everywhere
Scared dogs
Frightened birds
Are tongue-tied
It appears
Once again
The cruel barbarians
Have killed innocent people,
Have killed them mercilessly!
They have been snuffed out
In the dead of night,
Strengthening the silence
Once again have rung
Many slogans of religion!
Danger waits
Extreme danger!
When the night ends
Nervous dogs will wail,
And frightened birds will cry!
We,
Bearing the pain of the wounded age
Will carry the garbage of history!
----------------------------------------
(63) Protection
----------------------------------------
Let's tear off
And throw into raging fire
The countless leeches
Stuck on the new body of the nation,
Blood hungry,
Greed-guided
Ravenous,
Are these leeches -
Let us prevent immediately
Their all consuming lust
From devouring everything!
Let the new body of the nation
Not be destroyed thus,
Let a handful of selfish people
Not plunder the wealth of the developing nation!
----------------------------------------
(64) A Show
----------------------------------------
You too offered fake coins
And came back?
What a pity!
We were deceived even this time!
See -
Is not 'secularism'
A fake coin?
And 'social justice' too?
These are not the only ones,
There are many other
Completely worn black coins -
Those of 'national unity'
Those of 'constitutional protection'
Which you threw even this time
On a show of a joker!
You who were the maker of India's destiny!
One expected
Gold and silver coins
From you,
What a mess you have made!
It's a strange and absurd show
There is complete hopelessness,
What kind of democratic structure is this?
Rather it is just the raining of slaps
On the people's cheeks!
----------------------------------------
(65) Acceptance
----------------------------------------
Loneliness is your lot
Tolerate it
Happily!
Loneliness is natural
Take it
Desirously!
To try to escape it -
Is aberration!
Only accepting it
Is a boon!
Therefore
Accept this willingly,
Respect this whole-heartedly!
----------------------------------------
(66) Helpless
----------------------------------------
If life is pain,
Then bear its pangs
We must!
If life is a secret,
Then remain silent
We must!
If there is no harbour
Then row on
We must!
If life is a calamity
Then be washed away
We must!
If fire surrounds us,
Then burn constantly
We must!
How terrible is truth!
Then utter every falsehood
We must!
----------------------------------------
(67) One Night
----------------------------------------
Like a flash of lightning
You came in the dark sky of my life!
In my arms you swung
When swayed freely the month of saawan6!
Like a shruti9 tune you rang
When the kajali4 was heard outside!
Like the music of anklets you chimed
When the tri-yama10 became fragrant!
Standing near the tulsi11 in the courtyard
You shone resplendent, O the only one!
Like a flame you glowed
Coming in my forlorn home and courtyard!
----------------------------------------
(68) Suddenly
----------------------------------------
Today I remembered you,
My heart resounded with song !
As if the sound of Anhad1 echoed in my heart !
After years,
O, after years!
Your company was the only truth,
Your hand the only protection,
Everything has disappeared, but
The ecstasy of each lived moment remains!
Ages have entered oblivion,
Sowing dreams in nights,
But those sweet images
Have always inhabited my life!
----------------------------------------
(69) Before The Rains
----------------------------------------
Today dark clouds fill the sky,
Inky clouds!
After months
Of heat,
And the scorching of the body,
The veil of atmosphere fluttered
As it embraced the breeze!
As if someone threw
On its shoulders
The silk shawl
Of the slate clouds!
Bewitching is the sight,
Delightful are the clouds,
The inky clouds!
----------------------------------------
(70) Truth
----------------------------------------
Bondage
Rises-as a challenge
As refusal,
And raises always
Rebellion / force / resistance
Blazes / anger.
Bondage
Rises - as love's achievement,
As acceptance,
And raises -
Infatuation / permanent binding / graceful offering
The fire of living.
----------------------------------------
(71) A Particular Thought
----------------------------------------
Dreams do not come true just like that,
It takes generations to realize them,
Dreams do not turn into reality
By mere words of manav5- incantation,
The patience and diligence of generations
Actualizes them!
----------------------------------------
(72) Meaningfulness
----------------------------------------
The day
Man loves his fellow beings,
Rises
Above each division
Forgets
The difference
Between the familiar and the unfamiliar,
And welcomes all -
Dreams
Will become true,
And the world
Will appear friendly.
----------------------------------------
(73) A Wish
----------------------------------------
Let life flow freely,
Let it lead to victory!
Let each one find solace
Under the tree-shade of blessings!
Let there be songs played day and night
On the harp of the soul!
Let sweet dreams ever come
And bring pleasure and laughter!
Let no one be sad
Let laughter ring!
Let each man become gold
Made pure in the inner fire!
Let each one bear bravely
The knocks of the unknown fate!
----------------------------------------
(74) Possible - 1
----------------------------------------
Come
Let's strike
Strike hard -
Things will change,
The belly of the earth
Will shake,
Rock layers
Will crack,
And will gush forth
Fountains!
Come
Let's strike
Strike together -
The situation will change,
Rocks will sprout,
And will dress up
In verdure!
----------------------------------------
(75) Possible - 2
----------------------------------------
Come
Let's ram in
Ram in with all force,
Ultimately
The shape of iron
Will change,
The closed fortress-gate
Will open!
Holding flames of freedom
Everyone will walk in,
And in each corner
Will look for his life's treasure!
The bugle of a new age will sound,
The sun will rise!
Come
Let's ram in,
Ram in together
Our lives will be made,
Each needy and suffering person
Will find his feet!
----------------------------------------
Appendix
1 Anhad Nad
The inner sound of the heart which can be heard by yogis.
2 Ganga-water
Water of the sacred river - the Ganges (In India)
3 Hidimba
A demon princess in Indian mythology who married Bhim, one of the Pandavas in the Mahabharata.
4 Kajali
A type of folk-song; sung by ladies during Bhaadon (a rainy month) festival.
5 Manav-mantra
Words of incantation - for full-filling the dreams.
6 Rambha
A mythological figure, was a celestial court dancer in the court of god Indra, the king of Hindu gods. She is a symbol of female beauty.
7 Saavan \ Bhaadon
Are two consecutive months (fifth and sixth) of the rainy season in Indian (Hindu) calendar.
8 Shiv-Tirth
A great pilgrimage of Shiv - a Hindu god of welfare.
9 Shruti-svar
A minute part of a musical note produced at the time of carrying one musical note to another.
10 Tri-yama
Third part of the night - a time of union of husband & wife.
11 Tulsi
A famous basil plant. It is considered holy by Hindus and worshipped in their courtyards.
----------------------------------------
